


the things left unsaid

by Kittycombs



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: i love to suffer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 11:31:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11531331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittycombs/pseuds/Kittycombs
Summary: day one - mistake/regret





	the things left unsaid

In the later years of his life, Vader - not Anakin, Anakin doesn't exist anymore, Vader doesn't deserve to be Anakin anymore - wonders what might have happened if he had gone with -

Even thinking their names is too painful, after all this time.

But he still wonders.

He knew his old Master well. He would have taken him back - back when he was Anakin, back when he had the chance to be Anakin again. Vader doesn't know what might have happened or where they might have gone, but he does know that his old Master would have taken him back.

He….he had loved him, once.

Vader could not decide if the Force was being cruel or kind when it sent him visions while he meditated - he could not sleep anymore - and wasn't that the greatest irony of all; he could only meditate now, and what his old Master would have given to get Anakin to meditate back in the eternally better before - visions of the happiness he might have had. Padmé, healthy and radiant - they are on Naboo, living in the lake house - standing on the balcony, watching the scene below.

Obi-Wan is there - he's always there, in the meditative dreams that are unfailingly Anakin’s, the dreams that are everything Anakin had wanted.

Obi-Wan is there. He runs about on the grass below, laughing as he wields a stick like it was his lightsaber. The crease between his brows is gone, and his red-gold hair is greying at the temples, his beard a match. He would look very distinguished, if it weren't for the fact that he is tackled by a young, blond boy, and laughs more joyously that Anakin has ever heard.

Anakin and Padmé’s child. It has to be. His eyes are as blue as the Great Lakes of Naboo, his hair as pale as the fine sands that buffer them.

He's yelling Obi-Wan’s name. They're playing at a war that Anakin's son will never have to fight in.

Anakin laughs, and the boy yells, “Papa!”

He jumps off of Obi-Wan and runs towards Anakin. Anakin kneels down, holds out his arms, and he sweeps the boy up. The boy is talking, fast and high, but Anakin can't hear him.

Obi-Wan is coming towards him.  Obi-Wan is smiling at him. The frown lines on his face have disappeared into smile lines.

Anakin can still feel the boy in his arms, but the world disappears because Obi-Wan is kissing him. His hand is in Anakin's hair, his other hand settles on the small of his back. His lips smile even as they are pressed to -

The voice of the AI in his meditation chamber wakes him up. There is someone at the door.

The old fool is not kissing him - Vader doesn't even really have lips anymore.

The helmet settles back around his head, the world takes a red tint, and what's left of Anakin is once more safely locked away.

Vader knows that his vision, even if he had not chosen the Dark, would never come to pass. Even if he had been Anakin still, he never would have told the old man how he felt. Anakin was too weak and cowardly to take what he wanted. Vader knows better now. It's best not to care about anyone. If you care, they can hurt you.

The Emperor is calling him, and Vader must away.

* * *

_But if you are hurt_

_There could be comfort._

_If you care_

_He could care back._

_Obi-Wan was a fool about many things._

_But Anakin is the greater fool for never having told him._


End file.
